Changing Seasons
by Wish Upon Dreams
Summary: A set of stories featuring the times when Haise visits :re and finds his troubles have disappeared. [Contains spoilers from the recent chapters in the manga]
1. Winter Warmth

**Chapter Summary:** "Life becomes busy after Christmas but Haise takes the first chance he gets to visit :re." [A little Tousaki drabble featuring Haise and Touka's first meeting post holiday break.]

 **Note:** Just a fan of Tokyo Ghoul borrowing the characters to write this fanfic.

 **Authors Note:** Here's another slightly fluffy touken fic! Hope you enjoy! :)

xxxxx

Life becomes busy after Christmas but Haise takes the first chance he gets to visit :re.

It's very cold outside ( like it usually is during the winter) and, as he crosses the street, he rubs his hands together in an attempt to keep warm. Fortunately, the tiny shop is just around the corner.

Once there, he waves to the pretty waitress and flops down at a table, carefully removing his heavy coat and scarf. She approaches him to take his order and they chat about how they spent their respective Christmas days. He doesn't broach the subject of dates (even though he had thought about it - so much so that he had lost sleep during the night and woken up with a severe case of disheveled bed hair the next morning due to repeatedly tossing and turning) but she manages to clear that up for him anyway when she tells him that she spent the holidays with family and friends.

He, in turn, talks about how his squad liked his gifts, mentioning that his puns still didn't leave much of an impression on them and, if he's not mistaken, she appears vaguely amused as her lips curl up into a tiny grin while preparing his cup of coffee over at the counter.

There aren't any other customers in the small coffee shop which he's kind of ... _happy_ about because there's nobody around to scrutinize their interactions and maybe, if he's lucky, he can persuade her to converse with him longer.

Sometimes he wonders whether it's slightly _odd_ that he's able to speak so comfortably with her but then he brushes the thought aside, attributing it to the ambiance of the shop - it has novels, comfy seats and great service (although the other gentleman- her older brother? - can occasionally be a bit intimidating).

He glances around furtively but said person is not to be found.

There's a clinking noise as his cup of coffee is placed in front of him and he sighs happily as the delightfully sweet aroma overtakes his senses.

Their coffee truly _is_ the best.

"You're not going to pick out a book today?" the waitress asks, after he's had a sip or two. "We just received a couple of new ones that you might be interested in."

She begins to move towards the shelves, presumably to fetch the aforementioned books, but halts abruptly, peering back quizzically at him. Belatedly, he realizes that his hand has shot out to grab her arm.

His eyes widen and he reels backwards with such force that his chair totters precariously on its legs.

 _You're acting strange and your cheeks are reddening... she's going to notice._

"I know that!" he whispers under his breath, but the white-haired boy in the recesses of his mind pays him no attention, choosing instead to continue swinging his legs on the tiny stool he had somehow procured.

"Are you alright?"

His head jerks upwards at her question and he does his best to act casual.

"Ye-...Yes! Sorry about that, I was only meaning to tell you that there was no need to get me a book." He laughs nervously, one arm scratching the back of his head sheepishly as he drags his chair back in to place, wincing as it screeches loudly. "I got one as a gift and I'm in the middle of reading it."

"Oh! Perhaps on another visit then." She makes to move away, pausing to peer curiously at him when he fidgets in his seat.

 _Careful Haise ... take your ti-_

"Ummm...would you perhaps... be interested in hearing about it?" he blurts out, averting his eyes once awareness hits.

His hands are sweaty and he wipes them on his lap, watching as she bites her lip, her eyebrows furrowed, as she contemplates his words and then seemingly makes her decision.

"Alright, it's a slow day anyways." She smiles warmly at him, bending down to pick up the stirring spoon that he hadn't even realized had fallen onto the floor, before slipping into the chair across from him. "I might have some time."

xxxxx

Touka can feel his gaze on her as he prattles on about the plot of the book "The Hanged Man's MacGuffin" and she nods, reacting accordingly at the appropriate parts, hoping all the while that he doesn't notice the wistfulness lining her expression.

His mannerisms and his overall demeanor are similar to the Kaneki that first walked into Anteiku many years ago (although there _are_ some aspects that slightly differ - he certainly had been a bit more shy and reserved back then) and, for a few brief moments, she finds herself entertaining the thought that _perhaps_ this would have been the man that he would have grown into had there been no interference from Rize.

"Is something the matter?" His tone holds traces of worry as it pulls her out of her inward musings, "Or... is it that I'm talking too much?"

The last part is said a bit uncertainly and the napkin in her hand crinkles as she clenches it tightly - that's not it at all! She had never been all that good at expressing herself and it seemed that she still wasn't if he was doubting himself.

"No!" She exclaims, and he blinks, taken aback by her sudden shout. "Not at all! It makes me happy to see yo- ... _our customers_ enjoying themselves while they're in our shop."

 _It's embarrassing but worth it,_ she thinks as he visibly relaxes, and that's when she sees it (she's actually surprised that she hadn't noticed it before). Had this been 3 years ago, her first impulse might have been to pull at his cheek and scold him for showing up to work disheveled but now she simply points it out with her finger.

"Your hair towards the back" she whispers, leaning in, "is a bit messy...did you doze off recently?"

Okay, so maybe the part of her that likes to tease him still hasn't _completely_ disappeared yet.

He scrambles, patting at his head in an attempt to fix it, but just ends up making it worse.

"Can you...?" he trails off, his eyes boring into hers imploringly.

It's not like she's unable to do it - really - she doesn't mind at all.

The only reason she hesitates is because... well... she's resolved to wait for him to recover his past on his own and - as ridiculous as it sounds- _what if_ her actions trigger a past memory (specifically how she messed it up when they were wearing disguises to infiltrate the CCG) but he gives her a reassuring grin as if to say _it's alright, go on_ and so she pushes forward _,_ combing her hands through his strands.

His hair is much fluffier than it used to be and she's _oh so tempted_ to mess it up even further but doesn't. She makes quick work of it, trying to ignore the fact that she's standing close enough to him that she can see her reflection in his eyes.

"There, all finished!" she declares proudly, intending to move away but it seems her finger has gotten tangled in a tuft of his hair."Nevermind,my finger is trapped."

She raises on her tiptoes to get a better view and he laughs before raising his own hand and helping her deal with the problem strands.

"Thank you", she murmurs when he releases her hand, and his already large smile widens some more.

Maybe it's only her imagination, or lingering Christmas spirit, but with the way he's staring at her, it almost feels like _something_ might happen.

She can't place her emotions - is she terrified, excited or a mixture of both? - but, before she can have the chance to figure it out, her ears pick up on an amused snort from the back room and, to her great annoyance, the moment abruptly vanishes.

 _Shitty Nishiki,_ she thinks _, I'll have to deal with him and his eavesdropping later._

They would have been disrupted anyways, she soon realizes, when the door chimes not long after and Yomo-san enters hauling their new supply of coffee beans.

Haise first pales upon spotting the older male and then looks strangely dejected when she leaves his side to go help with the packages.

"I should probably put these away" she informs him as she passes by and he shakes his head.

"That's okay, I understand. I should probably be heading out now anyways." She watches as he collects his belongings. "Thank you for keeping me company... and for fixing my hair."

Yomo-san glances over for a second when he overhears that but doesn't say anything and, for that, she's glad - teasing from Nishiki she can handle, questions from the older ukaku ghoul ... not so much.

"See you again!" she calls out as Haise eases open the door, and can't keep herself from beaming when he turns around and grins.

"Of course!"

 _There's always the next time._


	2. Dawning Spring

**Chapter Summary:** A visit to :re proves to be just what he needs as Haise struggles from his worries of disappearing.

 **Note:** Just a fan of Tokyo Ghoul borrowing the characters to write this fanfic.

 **Authors Note:** Contains spoilers for Chapter 32 (in case you haven't read it yet). I didn't think I would be continuing this (at least not so soon) but here is another fic which takes place after the events in "Winter Warmth". I rushed a bit because I wanted to get it out before the next chapter arrives. Hope you enjoy! :)

xxxxx

Short hair parted and tied up neatly in two sections.

A pair of black rimmed glasses.

 _"Who-?"_

He drops to his knees, clutching at his head as the persistent sharp throbbing at the back of his eyes intensifies and his vision swirls, his surroundings - the sink, the mirror, his own haggard reflection - fading away into the void.

" _Save?_ " the voice mocks him, echoing eerily in the darkness, _"What a joke, it's impossible when you don't even know anything."_

Lately, it's been getting worse.

Is he not... _strong_ enough?

He swallows, paling as the boy - Kaneki Ken - compares their situation to the parasitic caterpillar fungus and its prey.

" _Just like them, we struggle for the same body. We can't coexist._ " he explains, and Haise shudders at the gleam in his eyes, _"It's only inevitable that one of us will eventually fade away."_

 _xxxxx_

Haise jolts out of bed, gasping for air as his chest heaves at the memory.

 _Take deep breaths,_ he reminds himself, _and remain calm._

No matter how terrified he is of the possibility, he can't let this interfere with his work - nor let his squad pick up on it. Tomorrow he'll return to being the ever dependable First Class investigator Sasaki Haise but for now...

" _Help me!_ " His voice is a mere whisper as he chokes back a sob and curls up, resting his forehead against his knees, " _Please!_ I - I don't want to disappear."

 _How much longer can I keep this up?_

 _xxxxx_

 _It's raining_ , Haise notes at the end of a long week, glancing out the window as he descends the stairs at the CCG , partly listening to the squabbling of his squad as they amble along not-so-quietly behind him.

"Saiko move faster, you're blocking the way!"

"Shiragin is so mean! Mucchan _,_ did you hear that? "

"Shirazu-kun...umm... wasn't that a bit unnecessa-"

"Can't the lot of you stay quiet?"

After that last line from Urie, he sighs and tunes them out, waving to Kuramoto-san as he passes by.

He's glad he brought his umbrella with him today.

"Shirazu", he addresses the squad leader when they finally reach the entrance, tossing him a set of keys, "Please take care of the car. I'm entrusting you, once again, to get everyone to the Chateau safely. I have someplace I want to visit so I'll be home a bit later."

"Alright Sassan, but ... are you feeling alright?" Shirazu asks, leaning in curiously - he had gotten much better at reading others within the past couple of months. "You have dark bags under your eyes and were spacing out during the meeting today."

"Maman is tired?"

Now Saiko is peering closely at his face as well.

He moves back, lifting up his hands.

"I'm just fine." he tells them, "Don't worry, I just didn't have time to drink any coffee today."

They nod understandingly - he's known for meticulously preparing himself coffee every morning - and soon leave.

He rubs at his head as it twinges painfully but he's hopeful that a good cup of coffee will take away this headache.

xxxxx

 _Thank goodness the coffee shop is warm,_ he thinks to himself as he opens the door, tucking his umbrella away in the holder at the front, _although it's really packed with people today._

He spies the waitress over by the counter.

"Hello!" she greets him, nodding quickly, as she carefully balances a tray in each hand. "I'll be with you in a moment."

"I'm in no rush." he replies, sliding into a chair.

He briefly looks over at the books, but he's been dropping by so often lately that he's already finished reading all the new ones and so he decides to flip through the menu to pass time instead. He scans the list of drinks, then moves on to sandwiches and is about to read through the desserts when she makes her way to the table.

"I'm sorry that took so long, the shop has been really busy today." she tells him, preparing her pen and notepad to take down his order, "What will it be today?"

"Just the usual", he answers, sheepishly.

"Okay then, I'll be right back with your cup of coff-"

She's cut off by a loud crash and they both startle. She glances over to find the cause - a young kid that had accidentally knocked over their drink- and tosses him an apologetic look over her shoulder as she dashes off to mop up the spilled cup of juice.

He rests his chin on his hand, watching as she bends down to give a cookie to the crying child, which the mother thanks her profusely for - in between apologies- before patting them gently on the head.

"Job well done" he mouths when she catches him staring, and she laughs _._

His grin slowly fades as his horrible headache - the one that he worked so hard to conceal from his squad - returns with a vengeance, intensifying further, and suddenly he's just... _so... tired..._

He wavers in his seat, his arm slamming against the table in an attempt to steady himself but his motions are sluggish and he is unable to stop from toppling sideways out of his chair.

His body smacks against the floor painfully and, amidst the yells of shock and frenzied chatter of the other customers, he manages to zone in on the panicked shout of the waitress as she cries out his name.

"Sasaki-san!"

She's by his side in an instant, gently lifting him up, taking care to support his head as she cradles it against her neck. His eyelids feel heavy and the images in front of him are getting progressively dimmer.

"Shit! Nii-san, help me!"

He manages a small smile up at her - he's never heard her swear before - and then there's silence as he loses consciousness.

xxxxx

"Yes, I'm pretty sure we saw the daughter ghoul - is that her alias? - wandering around by the river near Kasahara elementary school, isn't that right Kanemoto-kun?"

 _Kanemoto-kun? Who's he? Ah! It's that girl again... she keeps popping up lately, but sometimes I can't see her clearly ... I wonder who she is..._

He has no recollection of ever meeting the teenage girl in the memory and yet somehow ...

 _"Did you figure it out? If not, then would you like to know?"_ The abrupt question from the white-haired child surprises him _, "It's easy - all you need to do, Haise, is to really look at me once more_ _and this time around... please make sure to disappear._ "

He regrets asking the question immediately.

"No! I - I'm not ready! There are people that I want to protect" he retaliates," I told you I'd save you and I'll take into account your wishes but ..."

 _I need more time_

He doesn't get to finish, shivering when he feels a cold draft of air, the child interrupting him instead.

 _"Oh! It seems you're waking up."_ he says, and before Haise can ask what he means, the background shifts.

xxxxx

He awakens to the sensation of fingers threading through his hair. It's a welcome contrast to his inner turmoil and he relaxes, intent on pushing back the conversation that had just been taking place in his mind.

"That feels nice" he mumbles, opening his eyes (and wincing at the bright lights) when the motion halts.

Sitting on a chair by his side is the waitress and, judging by the frown on her face, he can definitely presume that she's upset.

"Thank you for always taking care of my locks, you're the _mane_ person I go to." he jokes weakly, but she still doesn't look pleased. In fact, maybe the pun made it worse.

"Are you an idiot?" she asks, her voice laden with emotion. It's the first time he's heard her this angry and he's doubly surprised to find it directed at him, "I was so busy earlier that I didn't notice but ... why exactly did you come today when you have a fever?"

 _A fever?_

He lifts his hand to his forehead, but is met with a cool cloth.

He genuinely hadn't noticed but is glad for the momentary distraction - he couldn't very well tell her that he came to the shop because seeing her brightens up his mood.

He tries to sit up but she pushes him back down.

 _She's stronger than she appears._

"Not yet! You should wait till your temperature drops a little."

"But... your shop is busy"

"It's almost closing time" she counters, "Anyways, nii-san can handle the shop by himself for awhile, just as I'm sure your squad will be alright without you for a couple more hours. It 's imperative that you take care of yourself first." She raises an eyebrow. "Or, would you rather worry them instead?"

He thinks back to their concerned expressions earlier that day and shakes his head, reclining against the pillows, suddenly thankful he hadn't told them when to expect him back at the Chateau. This way he'd be able to rest up a bit and allay their fears by hopefully looking better when he next sees them.

She removes the cloth, running it under cold water, before returning to his side, her eyebrows knit in concentration as she dabs away at the sweat on his face. There's only been a handful of instances where she's been this close and he's glad that his fever provides a disguise for the flush on his cheeks.

The only thing is... as he slips between dreams and reality, he finds that the waitress begins to look an awful lot like the girl with glasses from his memories. It's true that their hair colour differs but there are other things, like the shape of her nose and the slope of her neck, that are similar - he should recognize it after thinking about her so often.

Did that mean that she knew him - or rather Kaneki Ken? Is that why she had been so sad when she had first met him?

 _"You're not that dense Haise,you know just as well as I do... who that girl is. I've been showing you the memories one at a time so you should know which one of us she's been waiting for... and yet... why does she still care about you?"_ The boy looks morose at the idea. _"Why won't you disappear?"_

He feels a stab of pity for the boy - for his past.

"As I've told you multiple times, the thought of forgetting who I am now scares me, and so I don't intend to let my identity slip away that easily, but I can try to make sure to protect her - no - I _will_ keep her safe."

 _"Why should I believe that?"_

"Because I care about her as much as you do."

He's unsure whether he was able to properly convey his conviction but he's optimistic when he receives no reply to his words for the remainder of the time that he's asleep at :re.

xxxxx

"I'm sorry that I made you stay with me so late. It's already past 10.", he says, keeping her company as she locks up the shop. " It must have been boring watching me sleep - you should have woken me up earlier."

"It's fine, I was able to finish some work that I've been meaning to do", she tells him, striding along ahead, before she turns and shoots him a glance that's downright mischievous,"You may have even mumbled out my name once or twice and sworn to protect me."

"Wait! _What?_ "

 _Did she hear him?_

"I was kidding." she laughs, stopping to peer quizzically up at him when he doesn't chuckle like he always tends to at a joke. "Sasaki-san? Is something wrong?"

The truth is that she looks so lovely that he swears his heart skips a beat.

"Kirishima-san" he says, in all seriousness, while thinking _this is it._ It's not really a confession of any sort but it certainly feels a bit like one (not that he has any experience) as he holds out a hand. "I do hope you know that I'll protect you"

 _"I'm counting on you."_ he hears a voice grumble in the recesses of his mind, and he smiles - maybe him and his past self are finally beginning to understand one another a bit better.

She looks at the hand and then up at him and nods, giving it a squeeze as she grabs it.

"Alright, but only if you let me protect you too."


End file.
